July 2012
1 post
I saw the RE: 6 demo a few days ago.
Leon: Oh, hello there sick stranger. Would you care to hang out with us, even though I've just confirmed that something is zombifying every one?
Me: What are you doing?
Stranger: *cough cough* we have to find my daughter!
Me: Leon, no. She's probably already-
Leon: OKAY
Me: wh-
*later*
Leon: Oh noes, the stairs have been blocked!
Me: Oh noes, it's a pile of debris! It's not like there's table clothes, furniture and water around to both put out the fire and create a bridge to crawl over! OH WAIT, That's exactly what's all over this fucking room you're standing in.
*still later*
Leon: We should take this elevator!
Stanger: I can fix it after we find my daughter.
Me: NO, LEON. You never take an elevator in the middle of a power surge! What, TAKE THE DAMN STAIRS. Not only will you lock yourself in a small space prone to shut down, but you're willing to do so with possible infected!
*later*
Stranger: My daughter!
Daughter: *her face is red, her eyes are blood shot and she looks really sick*
Me: *to Leon* Time to go, bro.
Leon: Now both of you accompany me while I lead the way with my back turned!
Me: HOW ARE YOU STILL ALIVE?
*in the elevator*
Leon: Alright, let's just get you folks out of here
Daughter: Dad, I'm dying *dies*
Me: Well, she's gonna turn into a zombie and you're in a confined space so I suggest getting dad out of the way, shooting her and explaining the situation.
Leon: *looks sad*
Me: Wow, you'd almost think you hadn't survived 2 zombie infestations, 3 if you count Not-Spain.
*the power goes out*
Me: WHAT THE FUCK DID I TELL YOU? WHAT DID I SAY? I WANT YOU TO REPEAT WHAT I SAID.
Leon: Oh gosh, this isn't good.
Daughter: *zombie growl*
Leon: This isn't good at all.
Me: No, fuck you. You're on your own.
*one dead zombie later*
Leon: We're at the bottom floor
Me: And now zombies are going to file in here, trapping you and devouring you alive!
*the doors open to a room full of hungry and alert zombies*
Me: OH GEE, IT'S LIKE I CAN SEE THE FUTURE. OR MAYBE THAT'S JUST COMMON SENSE *ollies into the sun*
June 2012
7 posts
me: closes wrong tab
me: PTERODACTYL NOISE
